


You Never Know What You Might Miss

by Yarniac



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Era, Cave-In, Gen, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt No Comfort, Magic Revealed, Merlin Dies (Merlin), Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28232862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yarniac/pseuds/Yarniac
Summary: Their eyes connect for one last terrified look, and then Merlin is gone from Arthur’s sight.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 73





	You Never Know What You Might Miss

They were on another quest, because of course they were. Merlin and Arthur were working their way through some mountains to get an extremely rare flower. Because of course it was extremely rare. _It’s always some obscure flower found in the middle of nowhere that’s the only thing that can cure some obscure disease that came out of nowhere_ , Merlin thought to himself bitterly.

They dismounted from their horses to enter the cave. Which was the only place the flower ever grew. Because of course it was.

As they entered, Merlin heard an ominous rumbling sound. He looked around, but saw nothing. He took one last look over his shoulder at the cave entrance, shivered slightly and moved on, if a bit more on edge.

To both their relief, they ended up finding the flower quite quickly. A few of the weird spotted blossoms were growing innocently in a cluster. Merlin clipped a few quickly and put them into the leather pouch on his hip. Time to get out of here.

As they turned to leave, Merlin heard the rumbling sound again, this time it was louder. They were quite a bit away from the entrance of the cave and Merlin suddenly got the feeling that they should get out immediately.

Merlin started walking towards the cave entrance, picking up the pace a bit as he went. Arthur, always in tune with Merlin, picked up on his urgency. No matter how much he teases Merlin, the man is never wrong, and his “funny feelings” never lead them astray. 

As they neared the entrance of the cave, they heard a loud _CRACK_. A large chunk of rock fell right in front of them, missing Merlin only by a few paces. He cursed loudly, jumping back. He looked up to see more rocks were coming loose.

“Run!” He shouted to Arthur over his shoulder. Arthur obeyed without question. Going against Merlin always seemed to get them into sticky situations. The cave walls trembled around them as they began to sprint towards the exit, more rocks just barely missing them as they ran. 

They were so close, almost there, when it seemed as if suddenly the whole cave decided to collapse on top of them at once. Merlin shouted something as Arthur closed his eyes and braced himself, there would be no way out of this. Only... the collapse never reached them.

Arthur opened his eyes and looked around, blinking up at the ceiling in confusion. The collapse had just stopped mid-air, though it wasn’t completely still. The floating rock seemed to be trembling slightly, inching closer with each new piece of debris weighing it down from above.

“Go!” Merlin shouted from behind him. Arthur turned, ready to drag Merlin along by his scarf if he had to. Only, as soon as he caught sight of Merlin, his breath caught in his throat and he froze, eyes widening. Merlin was standing tall. Eyes, _blazing golden eyes_ , desperately meeting his own. 

“Please,” Merlin urges him, “Go.” Arthur is frozen, he can’t move. He’s shocked and angry and-

“Arthur, _please_! I can’t hold it up much longer!” Arthur’s head snaps up to the rocks above him. They’re shaking hard and look like they could collapse again any minute. He looks quickly back to Merlin.

“We can talk about it when you’re out of here, Arthur, just go!” Arthur finally relents, turning and sprinting out of the mouth of the cave. When he reaches the safety of the outside he turns, expecting Merlin to be right behind him. But Merlin hadn’t moved. He sees a look of relief pass over Merlin’s features as he sees that Arthur is safe, quickly taken over by a look of worry as he surveys the hovering collapse above him. Why isn’t he _moving?_

A strained look comes over Merlin’s face, eyebrows furrowing with effort and sweat beading on his forehead. His arms are visibly trembling, and at that moment Arthur realises why Merlin stopped running. 

He can’t hold up the collapse and move at the same time. 

All at once Arthur’s anger slips away. All he feels is panic. Pure panic and worry for Merlin. He can see the rocks becoming more unstable by the minute. He sees Merlin’s own panicked look, golden eyes flicking from the rocks above him to Arthur and back. He makes eye contact with Arthur desperately, but they’ve both come to the same conclusion.

Merlin isn’t making it out of this one.

On instinct Arthur begins to take a step forward. Hand outstretched as if he can reach Merlin. But just as he moves, Merlin’s spell breaks and all of the rocks that were previously held up by the magic begin to come crashing to the ground. Their eyes connect for one last terrified look, and then Merlin is gone from Arthur’s sight. Merlin’s name is torn desperately from Arthur’s throat, but the dust is settling and all he’s greeted with is silence.

He knows it’s useless, but he calls Merlin’s name again. And again. And again. Desperately scrabbling at the rocks, trying to find something he can move so that he can get to his friend. Arthur is dangerously close to crying, but he’s still holding onto the vague hope that Merlin didn’t just get crushed in there. It's so unfair that Arthur’s out here in safety all alone and Merlin is behind a wall of rock that he doesn’t have the strength to shift. Arthur isn’t used to feeling this helpless

Suddenly, a flash of something catches his eye and he looks to the side where he sees… Merlin? How is that possible? Merlin is right there on the ground, laying on his back. The injuries from the cave-in are clear, Merlin looks terrible. Arthur can see all sorts of scrapes and bruises and he’s sure that legs shouldn’t bend that way. Merlin is also weakly cradling an obviously broken arm. He coughs, an awful wet hacking, and blood splatters out to coat his lips. Arthur just stands there, frozen.

Then Merlin tries to speak, but all that comes out of his mouth is blood and an awful choking noise. And then Merlin is coughing again, trying to drag in painful sounding, ragged breaths.

The only thing going through Arthur now is fear for his friend. Not one bit of anger is left in him right now. It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t care. Merlin may have magic, but seeing him here, dying on the grass in front of him, he knows he could never have executed his friend. He would have been angry, sure, but he nothing, _nothing_ , is worth Merlin’s life. Faced with the possibility of losing him, he knows now that he could forgive Merlin. It would take time, maybe it’ll still take time. Once Merlin is healed up and Arthur’s mind is clear, maybe he’ll remember to be angry at Merlin, but he knows now, obvious as anything, that he will always forgive him eventually.

It’s not really even the magic he’s angry about. How could Merlin _lie_ to him? He thought he had gained Merlin’s trust by now, surely. God knows Merlin had earned his. Even during the times when Arthur’s own faith in his father’s laws had wavered, even when he’d _asked_ Merlin if magic wasn’t all that bad, Merlin had still lied to him. Did he not want to be free? Why would he keep lying to Arthur?

Another unhealthy sounding cough draws Arthur from his thoughts. He looks back up to where Merlin is lying prone on the ground and snaps out of it. Merlin needs him right now, and he’s just standing there doing nothing. He rushes over to kneel beside his manservant. Up close he can see the tears of pain running down Merlin's face. He realises that he’s crying, too, though he doesn’t know when he started.

Merlin is struggling to breathe, dragging in rattling, painful breaths, but he’s still hanging in for now. He writhes every now and then, as if he can escape the pain.

“We need to get you to Gaius.” Arthur says, voice shaking, “Now.”

“Arthur,” Merlin wheezes quietly. Arthur takes Merlin’s good arm and tries to shift him.

“Come on! We need to get you to-”

“Arthur” Merlin is really struggling to breathe now, it’s taking him so much effort just to say one word.

“No. No! We need to-” Arthur breaks off with a sob. He can’t face losing Merlin, he just can’t. Especially not now, he has so many things to ask about the magic. He only now knows who Merlin truly is, he can’t just lose him now.

“I don’t care about the magic anymore, I don’t _care_. You saved my life back there, Merlin, let me save yours,” he stops trying to drag Merlin up, resting his forehead on Merlin’s shoulder, “ _Please_.”

Tears soak into Merlin’s shirt.

“We both-,” Merlin gets cut off by a coughing fit. He drags in a painful lungful of air and continues, “we both know that I won’t-” he’s panting with the effort of speaking, “won’t make it.”

“You will!” Arthur sits back up, placing his hands on Merlin’s shoulders, urging him to look into his eyes, “You will- You have to! I’ll make sure of it, just… Just come _on!_ ” But Merlin won’t move, _can’t_ move. More tears fall down Arthur’s cheeks, tears of frustration, of fear. He cups Merlin’s face in his hands and presses their foreheads together. “I can’t lose you. I just can’t. Not now. I have so many questions about your magic, who’ll answer them if you’re gone?”

“Gaius can answer,” Merlin’s voice is just barely a whisper, he’s still panting with the effort it's taking to form speech, “go to him.” 

“No! I- You-”

“Arthur,” Merlin cuts him off, “We both know… both know I can’t survive this.” Merlin’s face is scrunched up with pain, but he blinks his eyes open to look up into Arthur’s eyes, so full of emotion. Unspoken conversation passes between them, but Arthur can’t accept what Merlin is trying to tell him.

He's getting desperate now, he can’t go on without Merlin. Can’t just continue living a normal life without ever seeing those eyes again. He can’t allow Merlin to die.

“Use your magic! Merlin, use your magic! _Heal yourself_ , I command it!”

Merlin is shaking his head softly, more tears gathering in his eyes and falling down, creating more tracks in the dust that had settled on his face.

“I _can’t_ ,” He whispers, mournfully. Arthur can see it in his eyes, they seem to be growing heavy. Every second he spends here with Arthur is a fight. 

“I used up the last- last o-of my magic to bring me here,” he looks at Arthur, with such raw emotion in his eyes. “I had to see you. Just… just one last time.” They’re both crying harder. Arthur’s body is wracked with sobs and Merlin is slipping away right before his eyes.

Arthur buries his head in Merlin’s stomach. This can’t be happening. He feels Merlin’s hand come up to rest on the back of his head, an attempt at comfort. Arthur begins pleading. Babbling and begging and praying that Merlin makes it out of this. Begging Merlin to _use your magic, come on! I can’t lose you!_ He sobs and begs. He can’t. Lose. Merlin.

He sits back up, looks at Merlin, mouth opening, ready to plead with him to use his magic one more time. But Merlin’s features are slack. Eyes sightless.

No. _No, no, no!_ this can’t be happening. Merlin can’t be gone, he just can’t. It seems too surreal to be true. Merlin’s been by his side for so long now, he can’t just be gone.

But he is, is the thing. 

He’s just, 

gone. 

Nothing dramatic, no final words, just… gone. 

And Arthur missed it. He _missed it_. Because he was too caught up in his own thoughts to pay attention to his friend when he needed him most. 

He doesn’t know how long he stayed there, staring at the body- the _corpse_ , of what used to be his best friend. 

He doesn’t know how he can go back to Camelot now, 

so he just sits there. 

Numb. 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for killing Merlin again, I just can't help it.  
> Anyhow, as per usual, sorry for bad writing. I'm sure I'll get better eventually.


End file.
